Daddy
by StarWarrior72
Summary: This is a long letter that Luke writes to Anakin/Vader, starting when Luke is six and ending when father and son are reunited at last. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

This is a long letter that Luke writes to his Father. It is in the style of "Love, Stargirl" by Jerry Spinelli, so I thank him for the idea. That means that in is a journal/letter. It starts when Luke is six and ends when he and his father are reunited.

**Daddy…**

Hello, Daddy! I got this book today and I am gonna write to you every day. I'm gonna tell you all about all the intrsting stuff in my life. I don't want you to miss out on what I do before I get big and I can do something fun though so I think I'll write to you on my birthday too because that's one date I'll never forget.

Today I am almost exactly six and a half, I can read and write and do addition and I can fix things better than most six and a half year olds. I miss you every day and Daddy and I wish you could come home.

I`m in grade two and Auntie Beru says I do good in school. I taught myself to read and write off some old tapes I found in the garage. My teacher in named Mrs. Denn she says that there is more to her name but we probably couldn't say it I wish she'd tell me I'd like to try. At school I always try to get good marks for you, Daddy. I do my best and I work really really hard and I get good grades. Mrs. Denn says she wishes everybody tried as hard as I do.

My best friend is Biggs. He is already eleven, but we like each other and no one else understands us like the other does. We play with Tank, Fixer, Cammie and Windy. Windy is the only other person in Anchorhead who is my age, but we are too different to be really good friends. I want to go to the stars, but he wants to stay here on boring, old Tatooine. So do Fixer and Cammie. How can anybody not want to see the galaxy? Some people are so silly.

Uncle Owen says that you were a navigator on a spice freighter was that more fun than being a moisture farmer? I hope I can find something fun to do when I get big.

Today I am seven, Daddy. Auntie Beru made my favorite dinner and I got to have all my friends over. We played hide-and-go-seek, tag, and would-you-rather. I got a new stuffed bantha from Auntie Beru and a model kit for a ship from Uncle Owen. My friends mostly gave me credits.

I had a lot of fun today and I ate a lot and I'm curled up in bed so I'm warm and I'm getting sleepy. Good night Daddy.

Hello Daddy, today I am eight. I had the same kind of party as last year but this year Uncle Owen gave me a new laser rifle. He taught me how to fire one one night after I was outside after dark. He told me that he would feel safer if I could at least defend myself. I'm getting pretty good with it too I can shoot wamprats fairly easily and I like to try to hit them from a distance.

I wish something _worth_ telling you about would happen. I want to write more, but there's nothing to say. As it is the only news I've got is boring and you wouldn`t care about it anyway. I guess that it's been a couple of years since I last told you about my friends.

Fixer is still a bit of a jerk, Tank is still kinda self-important, Cammie still generally looks down on me, and Windy is getting fed up with my habit of wandering into danger. Biggs and I still understand each other best.

This year I am in grade four. Mr. Quen is my teacher this year, he`s not as nice as Mrs. Denn was, but he`s not the worst thing I can think of either. I still work hard to get good grades and the other day I turned in a project that got me an A-plus. It was about the Arkanis sector's stars and constellations so it was easy. I did mine mostly on my favorite myth of the night sky. I thought that Uncle Owen would be happy, but he just nodded and said that he wished I was as street smart as I am school smart.

I think you would have been more interested, the myth was all about the Jedi. That sounds like an exciting life to have! I wish I could be a jedi it sounds like a lot more fun than (ug) _moisture farming_. The more I want to leave this stupid planet and stupid job the more my Uncle wants me to stay. I just hope he lets me go when I get old enough to be in the galaxy alone.

I'm almost nine now, Daddy, and I miss you so much. This entry is coming a few days before my birthday, so I probably won't write one then. I wanted to write today because Fixer teased me about being an orphan. Except that what he really said was 'I bet you're not really an orphan, Luke. I bet your parents left you here because you were so annoying. I sure don't like being around you.' As if that wasn't bad enough Cammie and Tank laughed.

I didn't want them to see that they'd made me cry so I ran out into the desert. I didn't stop running until I was completely out of breath and when I looked around I was totally lost. I sat down for a few minutes to catch my breath, and then I found a cave to hide from the animals in. I curled up inside to wait for help to arrive.

It was almost midnight before someone found me, Daddy. It was Biggs, in the end, who knew where to find me, where I would hide. It got really dark and I was starting to be afraid that nobody would find me before the next morning. Nobody would have found me if Biggs hadn't ignored his parents. They told him not to stay out looking for me after dark because that would just get him killed and that wouldn't help me at all. Biggs is a good friend and I always knew that, but tonight he is probably the only reason that I'm still around to write to you.

When we got back to the farms they even forgot to be mad at him, they were so happy to see I was safe. That almost made up for Fixers comment about you and Mom. Almost, but not quite, you wouldn't really lease your son behind just because he could be underfoot and a little bit annoying at times, would you?

Oh, that's Uncle Owen yelling at me to turn off the light, for the stars sake, or he'll come up and turn it off himself then tie me into bed. I don't really believe him, but I don't think I want to risk it. And anyway, I am a bit tired.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm ten now, Daddy, and I'm starting to feel like I'll never get off this rock. Uncle Owen is hardly letting me leave the farm any more. I know he worries about me and it is nice to know that if something bad were to happen to me I'd be missed. I hope you feel the same way, because I miss you as much as ever.

I love Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen, I really do, it's just that I want to go places and do something important and meaningful with my life. I can't live here, fighting to get enough water to survive when I could just move to a planet where it rained all the time. It sounds simple enough to me so I can't help wondering why my uncle hasn't figured it out.

I'm so bored of this planet! I want to go! Where? Anywhere, somewhere! I can't sit still in class, Mrs. Denn is starting to worry. My grades aren't slipping, yet. I just want to go somewhere and do something.

Oh, I can't even sit still enough to write to you. I'm sorry Dad, but, really, I've said all I have to say.

I'm eleven now Daddy and I just read over what I've already written. I really was hyper last time I wrote to you, wasn't I Daddy? That was just a phase, at least the sitting still part. I can sit still now but I still want to be doing something. I'm forcing myself to pay attention in class, but it's a conscience effort and it shouldn't be. My grades are still up, they never went down, I just feel like I can't do anything for you and the closest I can come is taking care of someone I hope you would have loved. Me.

This planet is really getting me down. I spend all my time with my head in the stars and half of the time I don't hear Uncle Owen calling me. It's getting me in trouble, but I feel like the only part of me gravity can't hold down is my dreams. I hope gravity never catches them.

What can I tell you? Oh, Daddy, I wish you were here so you could ask questions and I would only have to answer. I don't even really know who you were and Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru aren't telling me anything new. I don't know what you would want to know.

School's fine. Boring, but fine. Mrs. Denn's glad that I have my mind back on my work. So she thinks, I've just learned to fake it. I'm still as out of it in class, as usual. It's more that I've sorta learned to sleep with my eyes open. Good thing your sub-conscious can learn almost as well or even better than you conscious. I only make my effort to study when there is something I just can't grasp.

I wish you hadn't died, Daddy, I think you would understand this better than my Uncle. I don't understand death. I don't like the concept. Why did the galaxy have to be created so that people are taken away before they can say goodbye to the people they loved. Maybe those taken had families who won't remember them. Why did I have to lose you before I could even know you? It's not fair and I wish everything could be fair. I know that lots of people have it worse than me, I still have my aunt and uncle, but it's hard to think like that when I'm upset. I'm upset now.

Uncle Owen just doesn't understand me at all, Daddy! He just acts like it must be everyone's secret dream to have this job, even if they don't know it. I wish you were here, I think, somehow, that you would understand. I bet it was fun on your spice freighter, seeing the stars all the time and getting to visit them. I wish you had had the chance to take me and teach me to do that instead of stupid moisture farming.

I'm twelve now, Daddy, and I swear that if I get anymore bored I will _burst_. All that I can do, day after day, is fix vaporators. Every day another breaks down and I am so sick of it. There's even one out on the south ridge that I swear had it in for my sanity. The darned thing breaks every week and now it's working its way up to every day. I am almost tempted to dig the stupid thing up and sell it to the jawas. I wouldn't really do it, but sometimes it makes me feel better to joke about it.

Life is boring and school is boring so this entry I really just want to tell you how much I miss you and that it makes me feel so much better to have this around. I do have things during the year that I want to tell you about, but they are so trivial that I don't bother. I do type them into my data pad, but I delete them right away. You don't need to know about every single thing that happens to me, so unless I still remember when I do my yearly entry I don't tell you about them.

The thing I'm trying to say is that I really feel better now that I can let out my feelings into this letter. I feel better the second that I can hold it and when I write down my problems and worries they all seem so silly that I almost laugh at myself. So I just want you to know that even though you're not really here, and although I wish you were, you still make me feel better after a bad day.

I love you Daddy, and wherever you are I hope you know that.

I'm thirteen now, Daddy, and I've given up writing on my birthday. It was starting to feel almost like a chore, and I want to write to you because I _want _to. I chose to write today because of an interesting/potentially deadly thing that happened to me today. As terrifying as it was it gives me something to tell you about.

I was in the garage working on a model skyhopper and I got a call from Windy. He was really upset about something and when I asked him what was wrong he told me that Fixer and Tank had called us 'small fry' because we can't drive landspeeders yet. We decided to prove them wrong by taking Huey, the dewback we've been raising, out into the Jundland Wastes.

We got pretty far before we ran straight into a sandswirl. Then we discovered that Windy had overcharged his comlink's battery so we couldn't call for help. We tried to take a short cut and we got completely lost. We were stuck at the top of a cliff. We were just able to get to the bottom of the cliff when Huey started to whine. Then he threw us off his back he ran away too, so we were completely alone. He had all our supplies too.

I tried to find Huey, but when I did a krayt dragon was standing nearby and I got its attention. I got behind Huey and got my rifle off his back. I shot at its head, but that only slowed it down. I tried to get Windy to help me fight it, but he panicked. The monster started towards us and I realized that I'd only made it angrier.

The krayt dragon moved towards us and Huey pushed me away, back towards Windy. When I managed to get up (that dewback was stronger than I thought!), I saw the dragon bite into Huey. I wanted to cry, Huey was such a good pet and he had just saved my life. Then ravine was becoming steadily darker and I knew the suns had set.

Before long I could hear Windy sobbing, I found him in a small, shallow cave. I tried to shut him up so that the dragon couldn't find us, but the cry-baby seemed unable to be quiet. When the krayt found us Windy freaked out so much that I was almost afraid he would try to run _past_ the monster. The dragon was about to throw itself against the wall and crush us when a howl drifted through the cavern to us. When it came again I peeked out to see the krayt asleep on the ground.

Windy, however, couldn't pull himself together enough to get past it. I was starting to drag him past it when and old man came out of nowhere and introduced himself as Ben Kenobi.

When we got back to my house, though, Uncle Owen, Aunt Beru, and Windy's parents were waiting for us. Windy's parents were, understandably, glad to get Windy back. My Uncle on the other hand was really angry to see Ben. I don't get it. He told him to get off the farm and never come back, and he had just saved my life! Well, I can add that to my list of things I may never understand about Uncle Owen. That's getting to be a long list.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm fourteen, Daddy, and I'm writing to you about a week after my birthday. I think this will be a better system because then it may not feel like a chore as much. Unfortunately my life is back on its 'nothing happens' track. I guess that I can be glad it's not dangerous.

I miss Huey because now Windy and I don't really have a reason to spend time together. He was a really good pet while we had him. The trouble is that now I don't really have anyone to hang out with when Biggs is away.

Biggs and I have been spending more and more time together since Windy is no longer thrilled about being around me what with my crazy ideas. We spend a lot of time at Toche Station Fixer and Cammie spend all their time there and I like to be around Cammie. She treats me like dirt, but she is _very _cute. Recently she has taken to calling me Wormie. I don't know why she is such a jerk to me, I don't think that I did anything to deserve it.

I wish I could spend all my time in Anchorhead, but Uncle Owen just bought some new vaporators from the jawas so they're junk and they need to be fixed all the time. I hate fixing vaporators, at first it was interesting because there are so many ways that a vaporator can break, but now I know all the ways they can break, so there is no fun in it anymore.

At the age of fifteen I have decided that it really is possible to die of boredom, Daddy. If I'm right, then I will be seeing you soon. That vaporator I told you about is up to once or twice a day, and it told all its friends how much fun bugging me is, so now they're doing it. Uncle Owen is calling me, bet it's the vaporator on the south ridge again.

It was it took me an hour to fix, but now I think that I'll get some time to write. I've overheard from my Aunt and Uncle that you weren't scared of much, so I hope that you won't think I'm a wimp when I tell you that something happened a few days ago that really scared me.

I was out with Biggs, just for a ride in his speeder, and we went out to a wrecked Republic ship. On the way back we stopped to watch some Tuscan's. They rode down into a little valley and gathered around what looked like an old camp. When they left Biggs and I rode down to see what they were looking at. When we got down there we saw some skeletons sitting outside an old tent. I think that they were Tuscans. That wouldn't have been very important except that it looked like their sculls had been cut through with an industrial laser.

When we noticed this the place got really cold and I felt complete terror. I couldn't move my eyes from these strips of leather on an old frame, they looked like they might have held a prisoner. I told Biggs to get us going and he was kind enough to boot up his speeder and get moving. I hope I never go there again, that was the scariest thing I've ever seen and I don't know why it was so scary.

I'm sixteen now, Daddy, and I'm now without close friends on this stupid planet. Biggs has left for the Imperial Flight School and my Aunt and Uncle won't let me go. I've been asking for years now and they just don't get it. I wish they understood.

So now I'm even more of a loser because I don't have anyone close to spend my time with. When he left we had a great race through Beggar's Canyon in our T-16s. He threaded this huge stone needle and he won.

Now that I don't have Biggs around anymore everyone says that he was my hero and I idolize him. That's so stupid! I wouldn't tell them that it's you I really idolize, but that would at least be true. This is not.

Cammie has broken up with another of the boys. She may be the only teenage girl the group of us boys can stand, but she is running out of boyfriends. Sooner or later she will be forced to go around the group again, or date me for a while.

When we had a race in the canyon today I tried threading the needle in my T-16 but I sort of shaved of part of one of the wings and now my Uncle won't let me race anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

Daddy, my life has changed forever. I'm writing to you again only about a month from my last entry because everything has changed.

A couple of days ago the jawas came around in their sandcrawler to sell us some droids. Uncle Owen bought an R2 unit and a translator called C-3P0. He told me to clean them and when I was doing that I found a hologram message from a beautiful girl asking someone called Obi-Wan Kenobi for help. The message was broken and it wouldn't play all the way through. Artoo said that the restraining bolt the jawas had put on him was short circuiting it. When I took off the bolt the message vanished and Artoo seemed to have completely forgotten that it existed. I was getting annoyed and trying to make him play back the message when my Aunt called me for dinner.

When I got back I couldn't find either of the droids. I used my droid caller and Threepio came out from behind my Uncle's speeder. He said that Artoo had run off. I went to check if I could see Artoo from home. When I couldn't see him I had to explain to Threepio that we couldn't go looking for him until tomorrow, because of the sand people.

The next day I took Threepio out to look for Artoo. We found him way out in the Jundland wastes. Unfortunately we also found some sand people. One of them knocked me out and they started to dismantle my speeder.

When I woke up Old Ben Kenobi, the same guy who had saved me and Windy from the Krayt Dragon, was looking at me. He helped me sit up and I got a look around. There were no sand people to be seen anywhere. Suddenly it occurred to me that he might know Obi-Wan. I was surprised to discover that he _was_ Obi-Wan.

He got me to my feet and we had started towards my speeder when I realized that Threepio wasn't with us. He had fallen of a cliff (stupid droid), luckily it was a small one and the only damage done was that his arm had fallen off.

Ben took me back to his house and he let me fix Threepio at his worktable. As I worked I told him about the message in Artoo. I had just finished telling him when he found the message. The full message said that Artoo had the plans for the Death Star, the Empires latest weapon, and that Obi-Wan had to get the plans to her father so that he could give them to the Alliance. Obi-Wan told me that if I was going to come with him to Alderaan, the girl's planet, then I was going to need to learn to be a Jedi.

Then he told me that you were a Jedi and he gave me your lightsaber. The moment that it touched my hand it felt right to have it, I don't know what I would do if I lost it.

At the prospect of something worthwhile I'll admit that I freaked out a bit. I told him that I had to get home and that I was in enough trouble already. He said that I would have to do what I thought was right and I offered to take him to Anchorhead so that he could get a transport to Mos Eisley.

On the way to Anchorhead he spotted smoke on the horizon and we went over to check it out. There was a huge sandcrawler, pouring smoke and not moving at all. The bodies of the jawas were littered all over the ground around it. I recognized the jawas as the ones who had sold me Threepio and Artoo.

It looked like the sand people had killed them, but Ben said that the blast points were too accurate for sand people and that it had been done by stormtroopers. I started to ask why Imperials would want to slaughter jawas, but my eyes fell on the droids. I moaned that if the Empire could trace the droids to the jawas then they could be led back home.

I ran to my speeder and raced home. When I got there I was horrified to see smoke pouring from the only home I had ever known. I looked for my Aunt and Uncle, I called for them. I was starting to hope they were in town or something when the troopers came when I saw their smoking bodies outside the main door to my home. I started to cry hysterically and I tried to reach them. I guess I wanted to drag them away from the fire so I could give them a proper burial. That was probably the worst moment of my life so far. I'm crying again just thinking about it.

When I realized that there was nothing I sound do for them I slipped my hand into my pocket where I've been keeping the datapad I have this letter on, in case I had accidently left it inside today. I was glad to find it there I pulled it out and held it for a moment, something about having it always makes you feel closer and I really needed a father's comfort at that moment. Then I ran back to my speeder to go back to Ben.

When I found him he was pilling the last of the tiny jawa bodies onto a funeral pyre. At the sight of this monument to death I felt myself start to cry again. Pushing my tears aside I hopped out of the speeder and ran over to Ben. From the look on his face I knew that he knew what had happened. He came over to me and I was afraid that I would start to cry again. He told me that there was nothing I could have done, that if I had been there the Empire would have killed me too. I just nodded, afraid that if I spoke I would burst into tears.

I told him that I would follow in your footsteps, Daddy, and now I'm off to save a princess and then join the rebel alliance. Does life stay this exciting or do you get bored of it?


	5. Chapter 5

I think that things will be a lot more interesting from now on, Daddy, so I guess that there will be more entries, at this point we seem to be looking at one per day.

My life has changed again. Yesterday life was completely different from the day before that, and today is infinitely different from yesterday.

We arrived in Mos Eisley last night and that was when I made my last entry to you. This morning we went to a bar that looked like the sort of place where you were equally likely to get a stab in the back or a drink. I almost got both.

Ben told me to stay out of trouble while he was looking for transport to Alderaan. I went to the bar to get some water and I was drinking it when someone tapped my shoulder. When I turned around there was a guy with a face that looked like it had been through more than one food processor. He had an aqualish with him and they both seemed thoroughly bloodthirsty.

The human threatened to kill me because his 'friend' didn't like me, why, I don't know. I was starting to feel like Ben might be on his own all of a sudden when he turned up behind me. He used his lightsaber to cut off the man's arm and he sliced the aqualish right up the middle. Then, as though nothing had happened, he told me that he might have found a ship for us.

He led me over to a wookie who, in turn, led us to a man sitting in a private booth. One look at the guy would have told anybody that he thought that he was really something. His name was Han and he was one of those people who can get on your nerves with one look. He wanted 10000 credits as payment for transport to Alderaan, and he wanted it all in advance. Ben and I didn't have anything like that much money, so Ben negotiated with him, in the end the agreement was that we would pay him extra when we got to Alderaan. He agreed and told us to meet him at his hanger in half an hour.

We left and retrieved the droids; the owner had refused to let them into his pub. Ben told me that I would have to sell my speeder in order to pay the amount that Han wanted in advance. I told him that that was fine with me because I never wanted to come back to this stupid, backwater planet. We didn't get as much for my speeder as I had hoped we would because of the new speeder that had just come out, but Ben promised that it would be enough.

When we got to the hanger we found that we had somehow managed to get the Imperials attention, we also discovered that his 'ship', which he was so proud of, was a piece of junk. I said so, out loud. Apparently he had had the same reaction before, because he just told me that she had it where it counted.

We barely managed to make it to hyperspace, what with the trigger happy Imperials on our tail. On the trip to Alderaan Ben taught me to use your lightsaber a bit. I was getting a bit better when we arrived at the system. The only problem was that we arrived in an asteroid belt, not next to Alderaan, as planned. The planet was completely gone.

An imperial TIE fighter flew past us. Han insisted on following it to the moon it was headed for, so that he could shoot it out of the sky. By the time we realized that we were headed for a space station it was too late to stop, they had us in a tractor beam.

We hid in some smuggling compartments Han had hidden in the floor of one of the passageways, so the first group of stormtroopers didn't find us. When the first stormtroopers left we got out of the compartments and we were just getting ready to leave when a scanning crew came aboard. Chewie whacked them, so that the stormtrooper guards wouldn't hear any blaster bolts, and Han let the box of equipment they had been carrying drop. Calling down to the stormtroopers for help with the gear, Han got his blaster ready, as they came into our hallway he fired two shots and they both went down.

We took the troopers' armour and Han and I put it on. Han snuck up to the command office with Chewie, Ben, and our droids. My part of the plan was to tell the officer that the comlink inside my helmet wasn't working and when the man opened the door of his office then Han would be able to get in and take control.

Our plan worked perfectly. Except if you count the fact that I was sure that Han and Chewie were well on their way to telling the whole station where we were, they were being so noisy. The droids researched the locations of the tractor beam terminals so that Ben could disable the tractor beam.

When he left he wouldn't take us with him, he said that he had to do it alone. I wanted to go with him and I told him so, but he firmly refused.

As soon as he left Han and I got into a… discussion, about him, Han thought that he was only good at getting us in trouble, but I was starting to feel like Ben might become a bit of a father figure for me, not that I'd ever try to replace you, he just seemed to know you so well.

When we were getting to the point that I was starting to wonder if maybe the droids, who were still over at the computer terminal they had researched the tractor beam from, should be looking for a medbay Artoo started to beep like crazy. That stopped our fight for a while. I asked Threepio what he wanted and Threepio told me that Artoo had found the princess from the message!

I was surprised to discover that the thought of rescuing a princess was not the sort of thing that interested Han, but he changed his mind fast when I mentioned that if she was royalty then she would be very rich and there would be a huge reward for saving her. I don't understand people, Dad, do you?

Anyhow, when I got him moving we found out that the princess, Leia, was going to be terminated. The plan that we agreed on was one that I had come up with, it involved Han and I using our stolen stormtrooper armour to sneak our 'prisoner', Chewbacca, up to the detention area.

We arrived to discover that I had overlooked the fact that we would need some kind of transfer identification. After the following shoot out Han stayed behind to try to smooth it over with a person who had just called us over the PA, and I went to get the princess from her cell. As I ran up the hall I heard Han shoot the communicator, and he called to me that "We were gonna have company".

When I saw her I completely forgot everything about where and who I was. She was even more beautiful than she seemed in the holo. One of the many things I forgot when I looked at her was the fact that I was wearing stormtrooper armour, so her first words to me were the not very romantic ones of, "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?". I snapped out of it a bit and I was able to explain who I was and that I was there to rescue her. At that moment I heard blaster shots down the hall, announcing the arrival of the stormtroopers that had been sent to get us.

I was just _thrilled_ to discover that Han had managed to get us stuck. So was the princess, somehow I got the feeling that she was quickly losing any faith that she had had in our abilities. On the other hand she was smart enough to be able to get the group of us out of that mess, even if her chosen route had taken us right into a different kind of mess. In other words, a garbage compressor.

After we just barely escaped with our lives we found ourselves in a corridor that seemed fairly safe. Han and I pulled off our armour, that is to say the stormtroopers' armour, (we kept the tool belts, though) and everybody just generally tried to pull themselves together.

We made it to a corridor that was on the same level as the _Falcon_ Han looked down at his ship, clearly happy to see that the Empire hadn't blasted her to bits. We were headed down a hallway, on our way back to the ship, when we ran into a squad of stormtroopers. Han ran straight at them, yelling over his shoulder that we should run.

We ran. We ran as far as we could, dodging several more squads on the way. We ran until we came to a huge cavern that our path ended on, by then we had our own group of stormtroopers following us. I managed to get the door closed, but there was no lock. As a bit of a compromise I shot the controls instead. Unfortunately they were also the controls for the bridge that we needed. (I found that out later, OK? I wouldn't have done it on purpose!)

The stormtroopers had an easier time getting the door open than I had trying to get the bridge to extend and soon they had the door open about a foot. Giving up on the bridge I used the liquid cable from the tool belt that I wore to make a swing to get across the gap. As I was about to push off Leia kissed me. I was totally stunned and when she saw it in my eyes she smiled and said "For luck," as though that explained everything.

I jumped and we swung across the void, I could have sworn that if I looked down I wouldn't be able to see the bottom. We met Han and Chewie in a hallway just outside the hanger. The ship seemed fine and we and just started to run over to it when I saw that all the stormtroopers in the area were looking off to my right. I looked too and I saw the most horrible thing in the galaxy. Oh, Daddy, it was Ben, he had his lightsaber out and he was dueling with Darth Vader. When he saw me, though, he smiled at me and stopped fighting and, and Vader cut him in half.

I screamed "No!" which wasn't one of the smartest things that I've ever done, but I couldn't help it, I'd just seen my next hoped-for life snatched away from me. Vader turned and he started to come towards me. I heard Han scream at me to shoot the doors so that he couldn't reach me, so I did. The next thing I knew I heard Obi-Wan's voice in my head, he told me to run. I knew that he knew best, so I followed his instructions.

Now I'm at the rebel base on… Oh! Wait! I can't tell you. I'm sorry but if this got into the hands of the Empire it would be really bad for my friends. So I won't tell you _where_ I am, more _how_ I am. It looks as though I'm going to be going up against the Death Star in a snub fighter.

Uh-oh that's the call for the pilots, wish me luck!


	6. Chapter 6

Force, I feel terrible. We won, but in retrospect I think that the celebration was harder on me, physically, than the battle. Some Rouges decided that it would be really funny to get me drunk. Han says that I have a hangover, whatever that means. He told me to stay in bed and that he would cover for me, I'm not arguing.

I was glad to meet Biggs again yesterday when I was heading to my fighter, but by the end of the day he was dead too. I don't know if there's an afterlife or anything like that, but if there is, please make sure that Biggs is all right and tell him that I'm really sorry that I couldn't save him.

Yesterday's battle was terrible. The Vader had a tracker on the _Falcon_ and they followed us back to the base. Luckily the Alliance was able to find a weakness in its defences, too bad that the weakness was a two meter exhaust port out of the entire moon sized station.

The Alliance sent out two squadrons and only two people survived, me and Wedge. Oh, Daddy, I don't even want to think about it. It was horrible.

I feel sick. I don't want to be sick all over this data pad so I'm going to stop writing now. Goodbye.

I love being with the Alliance, but I don't think that I'll be able to get the time I would need to make worthwhile entries. I'm exhausted.

Oh, not again! I have to go now. Seems there's another emergency.


	7. Chapter 7

The Empire got me, Daddy. They caught me when I was asleep. One of them was spying and as soon as they found out that I was the person who destroyed the Death Star they made it their goal to get me back to the Empire. When I was asleep last night they snuck into my quarters and woke me up. Then they said that they had something to show me. He said that it was very interesting and that he didn't want anyone else to see. He led me into a dark alcove and he hit me with a pole.

When I woke up I was in a prison cell. They took everything away, Daddy, and they insisted on reading this. I'm so glad they let me keep it. I'm scared. No, I'm terrified. I need you more now than I ever have before.

They tortured me. Everything hurts now, and they told me that it would be worse tomorrow. If tomorrow's torture is going to hurt more I don't think I'll be able to bear it. I want to be back on the farm, being bored was a huge improvement on this.

On the upside, I'll have plenty of time to write to you now.

Tell me it's not true, Daddy. Promise you could never do something like this to me. They told me that you're Darth Vader. They said that you hated me. They promised me that you would kill me if you found out about me. They said they would hide me. They told me that you were too ashamed to tell anybody we're related. That can't be true can it? If it was true how did they know that you're my father?

If it's true then I just want them to tell you where I am. If you're not who I've been told you are then I don't want to go on living. If you don't love me, if you _hate_ me, I just don't care anymore. I'm not sure I can bring myself to keep writing here, but in case they were lying I'll keep trying.

After the shock of what they told me I'm not even sure if today's torture was worse than yesterday's. The whole world has seemed surreal all day. I know that I hurt everywhere and that my left arm doesn't seem to be working right. I think it might be broken. I'm scared. I wish that you could comfort me and tell me you love me because right now I really need the kindness. They keep my cell at sub-zero temperatures. I guess they know where I'm from. At least I'm a bit numb to the pain now.

They said that you were coming to do an investigation on this horrible place. They told me not to talk to you. If you come I don't know what I'll do. They said you would pretend to be kind. They said not to react.

The torture is getting worse and worse. My arm is definitely broken. Yesterday one of them twisted it in a full circle and the bone is poking out. It's bleeding everywhere. It scares me to look at myself.

They whip me too. I can't move, I can't lie still, I can't even protest anymore. They made me scream so much that now screaming hurts. They made me swallow powdered glass. They never feed me. They seem to think it's funny that I start to cry if anyone offers me food. I only get a tiny bit of water every three days. I think I'm going to die here.

If you really do come I'm going to call out to you. If you recognise me I'm going to beg you for help, if you don't I'm going to beg you for death. If you are who they say, then you're good at the giving death thing. Maybe they were just lying about whether or not you want me. Maybe you really do love me. Maybe I can still hope.


	8. Chapter 8

You came today. You really did. You walked through the prison and when I called out you came over to me. At first I don't think you recognised me, Daddy. Then you knelt down beside me and pushed my hair out of my eyes. You really scared me when you swept down on me, even if it was just because you wanted to hold me.

It hurt when you picked me up, you touched my burns. You didn't mean to hurt me, though, and that makes all the difference in the galaxy. You held me for a few minutes before I managed to speak through my tears.

When I told you what they'd done to me, the lies they'd told me, I could feel you getting angry. You held me more gently and stood up with me in your arms. You turned to my captor and you killed him. Then you realized that I was shaking. They had told me that you would do that to me; that's why I was scared.

You turned to the second in command and told him that you would send a new man to take over. You told him that you were done here and you carried me out of the prison. I cried on your shoulder and you didn't stop me. You weren't even upset that I was bleeding everywhere.

You carried me onto your ship and laid me on a bed. I was so surprised at the soft mattress that I started to cry harder. You still didn't get mad. All the rumors I've heard about you say that you have a fiery temper and that tiny things can set you off. But you stayed with me and held me and let me cry.

You only left my side once and that was to get a medkit. You helped me roll over and you applied a salve to my burns. It was so wonderful to me that you were with me and that you cared that I couldn't stop crying. At first you were concerned but after a while you got used to it. You bound my arm and put a bandage on the wound on my forehead and washed the blood off my face.

You held me while I cried. You didn't tell me to get a grip or that I was being stupid. The rumors are all wrong, you care, you're a good person, and you're gentle. They should give you a chance.

Now we're at your home. You've fed me and you didn't laugh when it made me cry. You gave me water and you didn't mind that I slopped it everywhere in my hurry to drink it. You just poured me another glass and helped me to slow down a bit. You bandaged my back and you gave me a bed to sleep in. You promised that tomorrow you would help me bathe and put on fresh bandages.

You didn't ask about this data pad and you're not questioning that I'm typing on it even though my fingers are stiff with bandages. You're just sitting beside me and speaking to me. You promise that everything is going to be all right. You promise that you never meant to leave me, that you didn't do it on purpose, that I was stolen from you. You swear that you're never going to let anything hurt me again. You tell me you love me.

I believe you. I trust you. I just hope that this isn't all a dream. I pray that nothing ever separates us. I don't think I could bear it if I woke up back in the prison tomorrow morning. I ask you to make me one last promise.

You swear that this is real.


	9. Chapter 9

When I woke up today there was a stranger sitting on the bed beside me, asleep. Seeing him surprised me and I started to cry. The man woke up and turned to me and I saw that he wasn't a stranger at all, but you.

You bent over me and helped me to sit up. I pressed closer to you and you didn't mind. You took me in your arms and carried me down the stairs to your kitchen. You got some food for me and helped me eat it. You smiled when it didn't make me cry.

Every time I moved you were beside me, helping. I'm so weak, I feel like a newborn pitten. And you're treating me like one. No complaints there. You took off the bandages from yesterday and you bathed me, like you promised. That made me feel much better.

You burned my old clothes and gave me some of yours to wear. You're so much bigger than I am that it made us both laugh. Laughing hurt, but it felt so good to have something to laugh about that I didn't mind.

Then I started coughing and a bit of blood came up. You looked at me in horror and I started to cry again. I had forgotten to tell you about the crushed glass. You asked and I managed to answer before I started to cough blood again.

You carried me to your ship and took me to a med center. You slipped right through the waiting room and laid me on the bed. The droid came to help me and I could hear it speaking to you, but it was so quiet.

You saw the tears on my cheeks and you cradled me close. You whispered in my ear and told me that everything was going to be OK. At least I think that's what you said. The whole galaxy seemed to be on mute. When I didn't respond I felt you through the Force. You were sending me comfort and warmth and strength. I could feel desperation under it, though.

Now I'm doing better. They operated and there isn't glass in my stomach anymore. We're still in the hospital in case there are side-effects. You're at my side and letting me type more of this letter. I think that I'll wait for an important time to give this to you. Then you can know how much you mean to me.

You told me that I was dying, but that I'm going to be all right now. I can feel your hands on my shoulders and you left an imprint on me when you saved me with the Force. Even if we were separated I think it would be like having a part of you with me. The doctors told me that talking would hurt for a while, but now we have a Force connection and I don't think we really need words anymore.


End file.
